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If you live for Rock’n’Roll and are digging the whole vampire thing at the moment then you can’t help but get excited by the all star line up for Suck. There’s Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop and Henry Rollins – each putting in remarkably convincing performances as a Vampire bartender, wise old producer and radio DJ, respectively. The film follows the fortunes of a mediocre touring band fronted by Joey Winner (played by director Rob Stefaniuk) whose hot female bassist Jennifer (Jessica Pare) disappears with a scary Vamp – think The Joker meets Willy Wonka – (Dimitri Coates from the Burning Brides) before returning with pale white skin, dark red lips and eyes like Marylin Manson; yep, you guessed it, she was got. At the start the film is very much style over substance, it looks good, the cast’s good, there’s good music and it’s shot very nicely but you can’t help feeling it should be a short sketch or a music video rather than a feature length film. The storyline is pretty disjointed to begin with and you can’t help but feeling this is one of those films you whack on at X am in the morning when everyone is off their faces. Thankfully things picks up a little with the introduction of the heartbroken Vampire slayer Eddie Van Helsig (played by Malcom McDowell of Clockwork Orange fame) and when Jennifer starts feeding off unsuspecting shop assistants, band members and groupies. Look out for the hilarious gems from French roadie Hugo (Chris Ratz) who travels with the band and dedicated manager Jess (Dave Foley). Comedy gold. Suck is one of those tongue in cheek (of teeth in neck?!) films, like Spinal Tap and Anvil, which will make you want to go an form a band immediately – just don’t go taking the vampire thing too seriously. It may have made this band, The Winners, cool but it’s not the answer for everyone!

Suck is out now through Universal pictures and available on DVD and Blu Ray priced £17.99 and £19.99 respectively.

Words: Laura Williams